Self-Esteem Counseling

Do You Feel Like No Matter What You Do, It’s Never Enough?

Are you constantly comparing yourself or your achievements to others? Does it seem like no matter how hard you try, you’re always falling short or not quite measuring up?

Maybe self-acceptance and self-compassion feel like distant ideals that apply to everyone else but you. You might even struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or an overwhelming fear of failure that holds you back from pursuing your dreams.

Perhaps you’re hounded by negative self-talk and internal criticism that causes you to focus on your failures while dismissing your successes. Or...maybe you’re considering counseling for low self-esteem because you simply want to improve your confidence and stop beating yourself up all the time.

Low Self-Esteem Could Be Holding You Back

Low self-esteem often stems from early experiences where you felt like parts of yourself were deemed unacceptable by others. You might feel insecure in relationships, struggle with boundaries, or let others make decisions for you. Over time, these self-limiting beliefs can erode your confidence and leave you disconnected from your true potential.

As a result, you may find yourself avoiding healthy risks, apologizing excessively, or trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, where even the smallest mistake feels like a total failure. However, these beliefs are reflections of past challenges, not your true abilities.

Through self-esteem counseling with Higher Self Psychotherapy, you have the opportunity to heal from these emotional wounds. Therapy can help you reconnect with your true self, rebuild confidence, and create a more peaceful existence where you fully embrace who you are and what you’re capable of achieving.

Many Of Us Learn To Disown Parts Of Ourselves To Fit In

From an early age, we learn how to behave based on what those around us—family, friends, and society—deem acceptable. To gain approval, we often hide or disown certain parts of our personality. For example, if you were raised by a caregiver who struggled with depression, expressing joy or excitement may not have felt safe, so you learned to suppress those emotions.

Similarly, if you grew up in a family that valued athleticism but you were more artistic or sensitive, you might have downplayed those traits so you didn’t seem so different to others. In these cases, disowning pieces of yourself acts as a survival tactic, but it often comes at the cost of your emotional well-being.

Higher Self Psychotherapy in San Francisco Area

How Society's Standards Fuel Low Self-Esteem

In today’s world, success is often measured by external factors like wealth, status, or appearance. That, in turn, can make people feel pressured to abandon aspects of themselves that don’t align with those unrealistic standards.

If a person doesn’t match our culture's image of the “elite”—whether in looks, achievements, or material success—they might internalize the message that they’re not good enough. This cycle of constantly comparing oneself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, perpetuating a “compare-and-despair” mindset that erodes self-esteem.

Rebuilding self-esteem can be challenging, especially if you’ve been caught in this cycle for a long time or have faced trauma. That’s because it’s easy to accept negative self-beliefs as truth when they’ve shaped your perspective for so long.

As the founder of Higher Self Psychotherapy, I want to help you understand that you weren’t born with this negative view of yourself and that you deserve to be loved, valued, and supported. Through my unique, multifaceted approach to counseling, we can target the wounding at the roots of your low self-esteem so you can heal, redefine yourself, and truly embrace who you are.

Counseling Provides A Path To Greater Confidence And Self-Esteem

As humans, we often experience conflicting messages about ourselves, making it hard to sort through what’s true. You might feel like countless inner voices are pulling you in different directions about who you are and what you're worth. Through self-esteem counseling, you’ll have the chance to sift through these voices, identifying which ones truly support your growth and well-being.

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP)

One of the core approaches I utilize is Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP), a form of somatic therapy that focuses on the connection between your body and mind. The goal is to help you recognize the difference between the thoughts and emotions belonging to your wounded self—the part of you that fuels low self-esteem—and your Higher Self, the wise and secure part of your being.

By paying close attention to how your body responds to your thoughts, we can begin to identify unhelpful patterns. For example, if you’ve internalized the belief that being yourself isn’t safe, this might show up as a stiff posture or tightness in your chest. Alternatively, if you feel the need to hide your insecurities, you may adopt an overconfident stance, pushing your chest out.

Exploring these physical expressions of your self-beliefs can open the door to understanding when and where these beliefs first took hold. This process enables your adult self to nurture and care for the younger, wounded parts of you, fostering a more harmonious and integrated sense of self.

EMDR Therapy

Another powerful method I use is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. EMDR is specifically designed to target and heal unresolved emotional wounds, especially those rooted in past trauma.
If you’ve experienced bullying, neglect, or emotional abuse, EMDR therapy for low self-esteem can help reduce the emotional weight of those experiences and offer new, empowering perspectives. Through this process, EMDR works to shift the harmful beliefs you may have internalized, replacing them with compassionate, self-affirming thoughts that promote healing and confidence.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

I also draw from Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, an approach built on the understanding that our identity is made up of multiple inner parts. In IFS, we begin by mapping out the parts of you that contribute to low self-esteem, such as the Inner Critic, the Doubter, or the Self-Saboteur.

We will explore how these parts manifest in your mind and body, helping you realize that their messages don’t come from your Higher Self but from parts shaped by past experiences. This method pairs exceptionally well with self-esteem therapy.

The next step is befriending these inner parts. With guidance, I’ll support you in engaging with them to understand the roles they play. For instance, your Inner Critic may stir up feelings of shame or inadequacy, but its real purpose is often to protect you. This Critic may also discourage you from trying new things to avoid failure or embarrassment.

By recognizing this protective function, you can begin to soften its influence and reconnect with aspects of yourself that have long been neglected. This is where self-love therapy comes into play, helping you rebuild a sense of kindness, respect, and compassion toward yourself.

Unmasking the critical voice in your mind can also help uncover old wounds tied to feelings of unworthiness. Reconnecting with your inner child—the part of you that longs for affection and care—can release the negative beliefs you've held onto. By offering compassion to this childlike part of you, self-esteem counseling helps free you from the destructive messages your Inner Critic has fed you.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that low self-esteem often develops as a reaction to the environment you were raised in. My goal in therapy is to help you release negative cultural or familial beliefs and reclaim the values that resonate with your Higher Self.

You May Have Some Questions About Self-Esteem Counseling…

How do I know if I have low self-esteem?

There are several signs that could indicate low self-esteem. For example, ask yourself: Did I grow up in an environment where I wasn’t encouraged to feel good about myself? Do I tend to magnify my mistakes and downplay my achievements?

Am I held back by a fear of failure? Do I often put other people’s needs ahead of my own? If you find yourself answering “yes” to these questions, it’s possible that self-esteem counseling could help you reconnect with a more complete and compassionate view of yourself.

What causes low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is often rooted in experiences that shape our sense of self. Whether it’s shaming messages from society, difficult childhood experiences, survivor guilt, or overwhelming life events, these factors can lead you to believe that you’re not good enough.

Together, we’ll work through the memories tied to these negative beliefs so that you can see yourself from a more positive and empowered perspective. You are not defined by the beliefs you’ve internalized over time, and therapy for low self-esteem can help you break free from those limiting perspectives.

What if I had a healthy childhood with supportive friends and family?

Even if your childhood was filled with support and love, you’re still vulnerable to absorbing negative messages from the world around you. Some of us have more sensitive nervous systems, making it easier to internalize these harmful beliefs, even in a nurturing environment.

Our nervous systems are wired differently, and we don’t get to choose how sensitive we are. Self-esteem counseling gives you the opportunity to show yourself kindness and acceptance, embracing who you are without judgment.

Discover A Stronger Sense Of Self And Embrace Who You Truly Are

Self-esteem counseling offers a path to rediscovering who you truly are, helping you build confidence in ways you may not have imagined. If you’re ready to explore what you are truly capable of, use my contact page to set up a video consultation and see how online therapy for low self-esteem can help you.